Are you the jealous type? Would you be comfortable knowing your significant other is on a date with someone else right now? Or perhaps sharing a bed tonight?
For some people, this arrangement works just fine. There is still a large amount of trust involved, and opening the relationship has saved many. Couples have various reasons for opening up their relationship. They might feel the need to spice things up, or their partner might only be home two months a year, and they long for a physical connection. Monogamy has been the norm for so long. Perhaps they are on to something.
What is an Open Relationship?
Having an open relationship means that you and your partner agree to see other people while following a set of rules set out by the couple.
No, cheating on your partner does not count as an open relationship. An open relationship shows that relationships exist outside the “You are my everything” box. We are taught from a young age that we need to pick one partner to fulfill all our needs, which may be an impossible task for many – and relationships may suffer through this thinking.
In an open relationship, each person can have multiple partners to fulfill their emotional, physical, or sexual needs – but this may also differ from relationship to relationship, as some partners choose who their significant other may share a bed with.
How is an Open Relationship Different From Polyamory?
(A Conscious Rethink)
Polyamory is often confused with having an open relationship. Each partner has their own set of “other” sexual or romantic partners in an open relationship. In polyamory, two partners usually add other partners into their relationship, making it a physical and romantic relationship between more than two people. These relationships are based on an emotional connection between the partners and the physical, and they all share a similar bond with each other.
What Is The Point of an Open Relationship:
Being in an open relationship could benefit both partners if agreed upon.
Here are some reasons people might choose to be in an open relationship:
- First, they believe they have enough love and can love more than one person at a time.
- They are in a long-distance relationship, and although they are fulfilling each other’s emotional needs, they still need their physical needs met.
- They aren’t ready to settle down with one partner just yet.
- One partner is asexual or has a low sex drive, while the other partner has a higher sex drive or need for intimacy.
- They want to explore their sexuality.
- They might enjoy the freedom that comes with being in an open relationship.
An open relationship is based on a whole lot of honesty and trust. You can’t be in an open relationship with someone and not disclose it when going on a date. That is a recipe for disaster. You’ll need to make time and take care of all the partners you choose to have while keeping your main partner your priority.
I Want an Open Relationship. How do I Tell My Partner?
Your partner might feel the same, or they might not. The only way you’ll know is by having an honest conversation with them about it.
A simple “Hey, I want to have sex with other people.” will not do. The last thing you want to do is make your partner feel incompetent.
So what do you do?
- Ask your partner what they think about the subject: Perhaps start it off by saying you read about open relationships online, and you’re wondering about their opinion on the topic.
- Be honest with your partner: Tell your partner that you’ve been thinking about an open relationship and you would like to give it a try if they feel comfortable.
- Validate your partner: Make sure your partner knows that the reason you’re suggesting an open relationship isn’t that they aren’t enough.
- Set boundaries: This is very important. Your home is your home. Do not bring your other partners to the living space you and your main partner share.
- Have a safe sex chat: Protection is important. Having multiple partners could result in STDs and unwanted or unplanned pregnancies. Make sure to cover all these topics with your partner and have an honest discussion about how you’ll handle such a situation if it surfaces.
- Take it slow: You and your partner might need some time to adjust to this new arrangement. Take the time to make sure your partner is ready before going on dates and hooking up.
- Your main partner should stay your main priority: You can’t ditch your main partner on their birthday because the secondary partner made plans unless it’s agreed upon by all parties involved. You need to be respectful of your main partner’s needs and wishes.
Open relationships aren’t for everyone, be sure to make it clear to your partner that you will not take the idea any further without their consent. If they don’t give you the go-ahead, it’s cheating.
(Thrillist)
The Pro’s and the Cons of an Open Relationship
This will differ from partner to partner. For example, someone with an increased libido might find that multiple sexual encounters are a pro, whereas a person with a low libido might feel like it’s too much effort.
Pros:
- You get to spend time with multiple people: You’ll get to experience partners, each with unique personalities. This could keep daily life entertaining.
- Casual sex can be good: Not only could you learn new tricks and skills, but having more than one person interested in you would give the ego a good boost.
Cons:
- You’re at a higher risk for STDs and unwanted pregnancy: In addition, having multiple partners increases your risk of getting an STD, even with protection.
- Your partners could become jealous: For example, it has happened that the secondary partner feels they’d like to be in a monogamous relationship and cut out the main partner, or the main partner feels like the secondary partner is a threat to the relationship.
Open but More Importantly – Honest
Monogamous and open relationships both have their highs and lows. Fortunately, it’s for you and your partner to decide which relationship style suits you the best.
