Intimacy, the closeness between people in a relationship. The topic of intimacy rarely comes up in conversation because of the common misconception that intimacy means sex.
While physical acts such as touch and sex are still essential parts of intimacy. You or your partner might crave a type of intimacy beyond being physical.
What is Intimacy?
Intimacy is defined as feeling close to someone. When a person makes you feel supported and loved, that is seen as a form of intimacy. It’s a bond built on a mutual feeling of respect, trust, and of course, love. Those feelings often lead to a sexual attraction, as the person makes you feel safe or loved.
Intimacy isn’t Necessarily Sex
Being intimate with your partner can mean more than just touching or sex. Being intimate with someone beyond physical actions requires you to have a strong emotional connection to them.
What Does Intimacy Mean To Different People
Intimacy means something different to everyone. To you, it might be physical acts such as hand-holding or sex. However, your partner might crave more emotional or intellectual intimacy. As partners generally don’t share the same love language, understanding your partner’s intimate needs is crucial to a happy and fulfilling relationship.
Categorizing these different types of intimacy makes it easier to identify you or your partner’s love language. It’s important to understand your partner’s love language and adapt how to treat them to ensure you fulfill their needs, physically and emotionally.
Love language is not all you should be looking out for, as adapting and using their love language with different forms of intimacy is what is actually important.
Forms of Intimacy Can Include:
Emotional intimacy:
Often the most crucial part of a relationship. Emotional intimacy means that you will share your true self with your partner, all the nitty-gritty, good, bad, and ugly. . Emotional intimacy helps you connect with your partner. It builds deep feelings of trust and security in your relationship.
Intellectual Intimacy:
When was the last time you had an interesting (Deep) conversation with your partner? Discussing new topics and taking the time to learn new facts about each other and things going on in the world. This is an easy way to build on your intellectual intimacy. Your partner might voice opinions on situations you’d never otherwise discuss. You’ll also better understand your partner, their likes and dislikes.
Physical Intimacy:
Sex is most likely seen as physical intimacy, but there is a wider scope to what physical intimacy entails. Physical intimacy is a closeness between bodies, known as when two become one. Hand holding and kissing are acts of physical intimacy. Has your partner ever played with your hair or put their hand on your thigh when driving? These can also be seen as acts of intimacy.
Spiritual Intimacy:
This is more than you and your partner sharing the same beliefs. Spiritual intimacy can mean different things for different people. It could be a belief in a higher power or a greater purpose. Sharing the same values as your partner, such as kindness towards others is also classified as spiritual intimacy.
Spiritual intimacy will help you feel safe and secure with your partner. This will benefit your relationship emotionally and physically.
Top 7 Ways You Can Build Intimacy in Any Relationship
1. Trust:
This should be the foundation on which your relationship has been built. You and your partner need to trust each other in order to form a solid emotional connection. They need to confide in you without fear of ridicule or gossip and vice versa.
2. Honesty:
Tell your partner about your concerns and needs. Be honest with them about what your expectations are for this relationship. It’s also important to communicate about what your needs are, things you may, or may not like. It’s important to do this before a small problem escalates into something big.
3. Safety:
Feeling a sense of safety in the relationship will lay a foundation for you and your partner to build on your intimacy. Respecting boundaries and consent in your relationship will help your partner feel safe with you emotionally and physically. You’ll become their “safe space” and the person they feel they can turn to in any situation.
4. Communication:
Not just talking! Pay attention to non-verbal communication. You might have a soft tone of voice when speaking, but body language could make your partner think you’re being sarcastic or perhaps that you’re upset. It’s easy to notice if your partner has something wrong. They might seem like themselves, but you know something is just… off. Talk to them.
Perhaps start the conversation by saying that you’ve noticed something is bothering them and that if they feel comfortable enough to share, you’ll listen and even advise if they ask. Your partner will begin to feel safe enough to share intimate experiences or fears with you.
5. Passion:
Passion is different in each relationship. As you grow you will discover that your forms of passion change from butterflies in the stomach too long nights laughing about your high school crush.
Passion can be kept alive in a relationship by continuing to communicate openly and performing simple acts of gratitude and love towards your partner. Most importantly, you need to base your relationship on friendship.
6. Acceptance:
This is very important, accepting yourself and your partner for who they are is what the foundation of intimacy is built on. You need to acknowledge and accept your partner’s current feelings about situations, as well as their past, and how that may come into play with how they act in a relationship.
7. Affection:
Affection usually has different meanings for different people.
Examples of displaying affection can be by giving your partner your full attention when conversing or bringing them their favorite treat – a simple text asking if you arrived home safe, or a cute little note in your lunchbox. Being supportive, complimenting your partner, expressing your feelings and emotions, patience, and even laughing at jokes together can be seen as sharing affection.
This is important in the relationship as a lack of affection can bring feelings of loneliness and cause the relationship to end.
An Intimate World
Acts of intimacy can differ for everyone. Therefore, it’s essential to keep an open floor for communication when discussing your needs and wants.
